Ice Cucumber

Luc sometimes left the Orange Army's headquarters at night when nobody else would notice his absence. He would wander, seeking something he'd been looking for in the last couple years - something he would need in order to fully understand what his True Wind Rune was telling him in the visions. So he'd lightly wake up Viki, who would teleport him to the next town in his quest groggily, barely even waking up.

Of course, that had been his biggest mistake. Expecting Viki to be accurate when wide awake was risky enough, but when asleep...

But did he curse himself? Most certainly not. Because Luc, bearer of the True Wind Rune, didn't make mistakes.

This is stupid... Luc thought.

Apparently some giant, cosmic force of some sort had decided it would be funny to do this to him. Regardless of who had done it, Luc cursed them to the end of the planet.

Who knew where he was. He'd never seen such a place before. A small, fenced area with green painted floors, white lines and a waist-length net separating the area neatly in half. Regardless of how unnerved he was by the unfamiliarity of it, it had borne fruit. He'd finally found the thing he'd been looking for! He could feel it. It was nearby. But it seemed that in order to acquire access to the special item he'd been seeking, he'd have to play a game.

Fine. I'm quite good at games, he told himself. For a glorious, fleeting second.

In fact, playing the game was the only way out, or else he'd be trapped here forever, playing an eternal game of...whatever it was called.

Luc's opponent brooded happily at the other end of the court. "Are you going to try HITTING the ball at some point?"

Small, fluorescent green balls surrounded the frustrated mage, rolling slowly around on the ground. He'd missed every ball sent to his side - every single one.

I'm a magician. I shouldn't have to play such a silly game...

Of course, his opponent would have to be him - that stupid idiot who had been Tir McDohl's friend. What had his name been? Fred? Red? Ted...? Something like that. He'd taken an intense disliking to him from the moment they'd met, and the feeling had been entirely mutual. So of course, Luc would have to set eyes on him again - play the game against him here. Damn.

Not to mention…wasn't Whatshisname supposed to be dead?

Luc stepped up to the net, his knuckles gripping the netted stick tightly, causing them to go white. Ted also stepped up, looking amused.

"What's wrong? Don't know how to play tennis? I thought you knew everything, Luc."

"Just serve..." Luc said darkly, looking over at his opponent with absolute hatred.

"Do you even know the rules?"

"Just…serve..."

Luc and Ted walked back to the opposing ends of the court and Luc watched, determined to finally hit at least one ball sent him way. He watched intently as Ted leaped up lightly and chucked the ball towards him.

Hit it hit it hit it…

voom bounce… bounce…rolllll….

Luc couldn't take it anymore. The anger seethed deep within him, and he lost himself in it. He tossed his racket towards the net, screaming obscenities so obscene that they can't be written in this story. He ran over and picked his fallen racket from the ground, only to throw it forcefully back down on the ground in a fit. He began to stomp all over it, breaking the netting and shaft, rendering it completely useless.

Ted laughed from his side of the net, apparently enjoying the show. That just made Luc angrier, but he didn't have anything else to take his abuse out on. Better to try and calm himself down.

Luc's rage slowly subsided and he merely steeped, staring at his feet, fists clenched.

ring ring

An odd noise…what was that? Luc looked up to see Ted bring out a purple hand-held device and press something on it.

Luc's attention fell on the device. That was it! The key to his visions! But how would something like that tell him what he needed to know?

Ted was reading something on the device, looking worried and devastated. "No…no. It's not like that. I told you it's not like that…please…"

Luc had no idea what would have shaken his opponent so badly, but he felt a spark of enjoyment at seeing it. It served Ted right for his snippy attitude…the shrimp.

"ARGH! THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO FIRE ME IN PERSON! NOW WHO WILL SPONSOR MEEEE? I DIDN'T USE ENHANCEMENT RUNES, HONEST! WHY WON'T ANYONE BELIEVE MEEEE?"

Ted was completely catatonic now, flailing about. Luc enjoyed it immensely. It didn't matter what Ted's pain was even about - Luc just revelled in watching it. Sure, maybe that made him a horrible person, but…eh. Life wasn't a popularity contest, anyway.

He enjoyed it for a few more seconds, then became serious. There were more important things to deal with. First, how would he get the purple thing away from Ted? Secondly, how would he get out of here? Luc prayed for some form of convenient answer to fall from the sky. And so it did.

CHOO

A figure flew from the sky and before Luc could comprehend, a woman landed on Ted, knocking him face first into the pavement. Viki now sat atop his back, looking completely bewildered.

In the confusion, the device Ted had in his possession flew from his hand to the ground by Luc's feet. He couldn't believe his luck! He picked up the device and looked at it a moment. Something was on the screen - a message.

Ted…we got the result of your tests back and they indicate that you are a cheater. We are no longer able to have you sponsor Coca-Cola. It is bad for our image. Simply put - you're FIRED.

That doesn't tell me anything… Luc thought to himself.

"Uh…wha…what happened?" Viki, who now sat on Ted's back, said while wiping the sleep seeds from her eyes.

Luc could not believe his luck! Not only did he have what he needed - he also had a way out of this place. He ran over to Viki and grabbed her arm. "Get us out of here!"

Viki looked around. "Luc? Where am I? Where are we?"

"Who cares? Just get us out of here!"

"Uh…okay…"

With a sneeze, both Viki and Luc were gone, back to the Orange Army Headquarters.

If Luc was a more grateful person, he might have thanked Viki, but instead he merely ran off to his room, which was in a secret area off the Scroll of Stars, and began playing with the purple device he'd stolen from Ted.

Nothing. For hours and hours he played with it, but it made no sense.

"Come on. Come on! Just tell me something useful!" he cursed.

But all the screen would flash was "Use the Force, Luc."